When Holidays and Gatherings Feel Heavy: A Gentle Word for Tender Seasons

“When my spirit was overwhelmed within me, then You knew my path.” Psalm 142:3 NKJV

Dear Sister,

If the holidays and gatherings stir something in you that feels heavy, complicated, or painful, I want you to hear my heart. You do not have to pretend. You do not have to silence what you feel. And you absolutely do not have to just survive these moments.

I understand more than you may ever know. I have walked through holidays that felt more like endurance than celebration. Holidays where memories resurfaced without warning and the pressure to be okay felt unbearable. If this is your experience this year, I want you to know that you are not alone. The Holy Trinity understands every unspoken emotion and sits with you in each one.

The holidays can bring light to the places where healing is still unfolding. They can stir memories you hoped would stay quiet or awaken emotions you did not expect. This does not mean you have failed. It means your heart is asking for gentleness and compassion.

When Holidays and Gatherings Stir Old Wounds

Many women carry deep emotions into the holiday season, especially when trauma has touched their story. Family gatherings may reopen old wounds or bring discomfort you cannot fully explain.

Triggers often look like:

• emotional exhaustion
• heaviness in your chest
• sadness or irritability
• wanting to withdraw
• memories rising unexpectedly
• feeling unsafe or unsettled

None of this means you are broken.
It simply means your heart remembers.

You are allowed to honor that.

Navigating Toxic or Difficult Family Dynamics

Not every family gathering is safe or healthy. Sometimes the people who should have protected you were the ones who caused harm. Sometimes old dynamics still carry the same patterns.

You are allowed to choose emotional and spiritual safety.

It’s okay too:

• limit your time
• leave early
• decline invitations
• avoid triggering conversations
• protect your peace

Your well-being is important. God cares deeply about the spaces where you feel safe.

Setting Healthy Boundaries

Boundaries are not selfish.
They are sacred.
They are acts of self-stewardship.

Healthy boundaries sound like:

• I cannot discuss that today
• I need some quiet time
• I will not be attending this year
• I can only stay for a short visit

Let peace guide your choices.
Not pressure.
Not guilt.

My Moment of Reflection

“In the day when I cried out, You answered me and made me bold with strength in my soul.” Psalm 138:3 NKJV

As I reflect on my own journey, this verse continues to steady me. Strength is not something we force within ourselves. It grows gently as we release our honesty to God. When we stop pretending, we make room for His quiet encouragement to fill places we have kept hidden.

He knows every moment where your spirit feels overwhelmed.
He meets you there with tenderness and grace.

A Prayer for You

Dear God, my prayer for the woman who has read this is that You will give her strength when she feels weak. I pray that You will meet her in every quiet place, meet her in every triggering moment, and meet her when there are no words to speak. I ask that You gather every tear both seen and unseen. Give her joy and peace that surpasses her understanding. Lord, I ask that You turn every old memory into a moment where she can now see Your love. Give her rest in her mind, rest in her spirit, and rest in her body. Surround her with Your love in every moment.
In Jesus name, Amen.

With Compassion,

Minister Jane Coy
Still On The Journey

A Gentle Encouragement for Your Heart

Let the Spirit of God and the love of God walk with you through this moment. Nothing you feel is a surprise to Him and nothing in your story is too much for His presence. He understands every shift in your emotions and every memory that arises without warning. He holds each part of your journey with compassion and care.

Take one breath at a time.
Do only what your heart can hold.
You are not alone.
Not for one moment.

A Gift For Your Journey

I created a gentle Survival Guide to support you through this time. If your heart feels ready, you may download it below. This guide was designed to help you move through the holidays with simple grounding tools, peaceful reminders, and comforting reflections that honor your healing.